disc Proclaimed Sanctuary SKRaTCHED!
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Sunday, July 20, 2003
Mood: Skatter Brained
Topic: Nothing
S.o.C.: “Tight Rope" by Papa Roach

Quotes of the Day: "What nourishes me also destroys me"

That's a quote off of a tatoo that Angelina Jolie has on her waiste. It's really in Latin but the way it's written is hard to read. I like the idea. I think it's talking about pain--emotional pain. I mean that's the thing that destroys a person. day by day it gets worse adn does more damage until you deal with it. Then that pain nourishes you. Even if you haven't dealt with the pain and anger that spawns from it you still use it as fuel. Your pain and anger drive you. You live to brood about it,t o smolder in it. Sometimes you want to reap vengence not only on the source of your pain but also on any one stupid enough to cross your path. You feel like no one can ever understand where you've been. I think eventually after a whole lot of time it in one form or another. you either come to terms with it and move on or it takes over and if you get lucky you just die before you become some rage driven shell of a human being. I got luckier than death---I got through it and past it and came to terms with it all. The quote is true though for a pain ridden person. I hope I never have to become that way again because that is a hard way to live.

Hmm it's crazy to live like that. I've had a lot on my mind in the last few days and well seeing that was a flash back. This pain as of late is a new one a different one. It's not new or anything it's just different. I don't know...hmm I'm sure I was going somewhere with this oh well change of subject.

I like small children like 4 year olds and younger. They're so cool. A new family moved in next door they have two small girls both very cute they show up here and talk to me every once in a while. I love small kids they're great--because I love chaos. I hate it being too calm in some situations...public places especially...it's weird because it's not an all the time thing but children are cool. They serve as ultimate honesty and compact portable unhampered chaos. I actually like that. I would much rather watch 4 small kids of like 4 years old(which I have it was so much fun) but I can't stand 1 like 9 year old (they're such punks!) Anyway love kids.

Hate doctors...hate them a lot they're screw ups they suck I'm leaving this subject.

Senior pictures are on the 24th for me...I don't want to go it's going to be horrible. I'm soooooo off my game. I haven't been sleeping well, haven't been eating too much, I'm pale and chubby and those pictures are going to be horrible I hate pictures.

I'm going...to go rest...because I need to really badly...no I'm going to go pray(I never use to pray...I've prayed all of like 5 times in the last like 4 freakin years....I'm sure God is anxious to hear what I have to say to him...)...and then I'm going to go rest and get my skattered brain back together....and maybe I'll look normal by the 24th which is what Thursday? Oh man...

Bye
Kim

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       Your DJ: Kimberly
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